This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
