So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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