Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
