therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
