thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
