the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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