STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
