I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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