somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
