There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
