I cockslap morals
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
