There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
