Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So vagazzling was a success
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
