They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
