This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Couch. On fire.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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