Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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