she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she smelled like a LAN party
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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