Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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