How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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