Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She announced her abortion via fbk
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
