When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
