i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
