I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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