We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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