Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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