I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
