I don't think brook has ever known best
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
