At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
