i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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