my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
