mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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