Your tits are I can't wait for
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I have post one night stand depression
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