I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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