At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
