We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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