He asked me if I "almost moaned"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
