My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
