I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
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