I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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