I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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