Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
