I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Still dying that you shit outside
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I did not marry a roomba.
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