My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
