three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
