I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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