he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
