eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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