at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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