Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
