I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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