Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
