He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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