Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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