yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
